I Am Enough

It is a gray rainy spring day.  I sit at my desk determined to work on my blog.  So far, I have made 2 cups of tea, browsed Facebook, munched on some almonds, sorted through a stack of mail, ordered some glass paint markers from Amazon, responded to some text messages, and changed the cover photo on my Facebook page.  It is not that I don’t have anything to write about; it is more about actually getting started – AGAIN.

Because that is what riding is . . . getting started again and again.  I read my 2015 January post and realized that I still haven’t started exercising with weights, I never finish reading “Dressage Today” every month, I still have not mastered riding changes every 3 and 4 strides consistently, I don’t think I ever attended one clinic as an auditor, I did not volunteer at any shows, I still don’t drink enough water, and I for certain, have not yet shown Prix St. Georges.  Then I realized that I was reading my post from the perspective of what I had not accomplished vs. trying to figure out what I had accomplished that was both written down and not written down.

I am riding more consistently often 6 days/week, I am riding in clinics with Verne Batchelder and having my rides video-taped, I drink water, I have become more conscious of the connection between my emotional and physical health, I try to meditate when I walk the dogs letting raindrops clinging tenaciously to the edges of leaves and the chatter of squirrels hiding behind tree trunks fill my brain vs. the constant streaming of thoughts.  I make a conscious effort to reach out to friends and make connections beyond my Facebook Home Page.  I am trying to become more involved in my community and the world beyond my corner.  I am constantly balancing my roles as full-time mom to a house full of teenage girls, part-time secretary, writer, and rider – with the majority of my time appropriated for the role of “Mom”. 

This year I am going to start it out with the phrase . . . I am enough.

May we each find the balance of being enough this year.